


In Vino Veritas

by quillypen



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: 3+1 format, Animal Puns, F/M, Friends to Lovers, sleep cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-06-09 04:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quillypen/pseuds/quillypen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In wine, there is truth." It's especially helpful for one pair who need a kick in the pants to get together. Three times that booze helps Nick and Judy communicate, and one time that it doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Strangers and the Noise

It was Friday night, and Judy was bored.

Everyone had something going on. Nick was playing poker with Finnick and his old buddies. (“Sorry Carrots, but I might have to arrest them later. If I lose enough money tonight there won’t be hard feelings.”) Clawhauser had tried to sell her on some gaudy nightclub, Fru Fru was taking Little Judy to a park the size of Big Judy’s apartment, and Francine was attending something called The Stampede, which didn’t sound like a place for bunnies. She’d even asked Bogo what he was doing after work, and gotten a cool “none of your business.”

It would be a night catching up on TV, she guessed. She got inside her apartment and sat down on the bed, thumping her head against the wall.

“Hey, Meter Maid, keep it down til we’re out, ok?”

Judy rolled her eyes and thumped again on the thin wall. “You know I’m a real cop now, Pronk. It was all over the news! You gave a statement on TV about how you two always believed in me!”

“And we did!” Bucky joined in. “But calling you Meter Maid stuck!”

“What’s with mammals and nicknaming me?” Judy muttered under her breath.

“Anyway, Pronk and I are going out to that new club, Shrewdio 54. We’re gonna get wrecked! You wanna come with?”

“Yeah!” Pronk added. “We should be better friends, in case you do something important again. We could get famous too!”

Judy’s eyes kept rolling...but she didn’t have anything better to do, and it had been a stressful week... “You know what? Let’s do it. How much is the cover, will a twenty be enough to get drinks too?”

Bucky sighed. “Your new name is Meter Underpaid. Let’s go, you can pay me back.”

 

* * *

 

She texted Nick in the car.

 

 **Me:** Hey Blueberries!

 **Nick:** that supposed to be me carrots

 **Me:** Yes! You get nicknames too, I’m sick of being the only one.

 **Nick:** veto

 **Nick:** ill accept sexy devil or fox of my dreams

 **Me:** Ha, good luck with that!

 **Me:** How’s the game going? I’m headed to Shrewdio 54 with the neighbors, if you want to swing by!

 **Nick:** lol

 **Nick:** im fifty bucks in the hole but i think finnick and i are cool

 **Nick:** and lol x2

 **Nick:** not my scene

 **Me:** Fiiiiiine. Leave a bunny all alone, probably to get stepped on or eaten.

 **Nick:** that would suck, whod do my paperwork

 **Nick:** call me if you get stepped on im there

 **Me:** I won’t! If you don’t hear from me, I was crushed and you have to do all your own paperwork, like you should have been all along.

 **Nick:** :’( rip carrots

 **Nick:** beloved daughter, sister, paperwork-doer

 **Me:** Friend?

 **Nick:** acquaintance ^_^

 

* * *

 

Walking inside, Judy was assaulted by the noise. She flinched and held her paws over her ears to block out the dance beats. “That music! Augh, it’s way too loud!”

Bucky looked down at her sympathetically. “Aw, sorry M&M. Here, let’s get to a quieter corner. First round is on me!”

Pronk looked Judy up and down. “I’m guessing you want something fruity and weak? Hey, just like Bucky!”

Judy groaned. “Oh, shut up.”

“No, you shut up!”

“You shut up!”

“Hey!” Bucky looked hurt. “Pronk, that’s **our** thing.”

 

* * *

 

Two hours in, Judy had adjusted to the music and was actually having fun. The fruity mixed drinks definitely helped--she couldn’t say what they were made of, and didn’t want to think about the price, but she was feeling floaty and happy and that’s what counted. Her neighbors had moved to the center of the floor, and she could just barely see their horns bouncing and grinding from her stool. She’d hopped around the edges of the crowd herself, but she was pretty sure she’d get trampled if she tried to join them, like she’d said to Nick.

Speaking of Nick... She fished her phone out of her pocket and checked her texts.

 

 **Nick:** carrots if youre dead text me back

 **Nick:** *hoof* *bunny* :’(

 **Nick:** since youre not im gonna assume youre fine

 **Me:** Haha hey Nick! Worked about me I see!

 **Me:** Worried

 **Me:** Autocorrect you are a fickle mistress!

 **Nick:** wow you must be hammered

 **Nick:** a typo im so ashamed

 **Me:** Shove it!!!!

 **Me:** And ha, hardly! Just having a good time.

 **Nick:** party animal *bunny*

 **Me:** It’s me!

 **Nick:** ok carrots glad to hear it

 **Nick:** call me if you need anything

 **Nick:** ill be smoking brandy and sipping cigars and having a really classy night

 **Me:** You’re watching cartoons in your bathrobe aren:t you??

 **Nick:** wow i guess judy is short for judgmental

 

* * *

 

After three more hours, Judy was not having fun. She’d had too much to drink, and the room was spinning. She’d tried dancing a few times, but it always seemed to devolve into skeevy guys grinding on her. Bucky and Pronk were making out against a wall in the back, and the music was hurting her ears again, now a primal sort of pulsing beat. Judy wanted to be anywhere but here.

She paid her tab ( _do not look at the total, just sign and leave some cash, do not look_ ) and stumbled out the door into the cold air. She checked her phone: 2:35 AM, 2% battery, and a text:

 

 **Nick:** saw a bunny run into a wall in this cartoon and thought of you. hope youre having fun

 

She burst out laughing and hit Call. It took him a few rings to pick up.

“Niiiiiick! That’s so funny! Hahaha!”

“Carrots? Did you just get home?” Nick sounded groggy.

“No, just out of the club! My head is killing me, owww.”

Nick sighed. “Oh, to be young again. Riding home in a Zuber with the Antler Boys, I hope?”

“No, they looked...busy. Haha. I’m just gonna walk, it’s not that far.”

“What? No no no, you’re clearly not ok. Stay there, I’m on my way. Shrewdio 54, right?”

Judy started to sniff. She was tired and overwhelmed. “Oh...ok. Thank you. I’m just gonna close my eyes for a second here...”

Nick groaned. “I’m heading there right now, OK? Try to keep your eyes open, that’s a sketchy--”

Her phone died. She slumped against the brick wall of the club, quietly crying.

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later, she heard voices. The club doorman and...

“Hey, you leave her alone, fox. She’s waiting for a friend.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” A phone clicked on. “See? That’s her.”

“...Fine. Take care of her, ok?”

She felt wiry arms lift her up from the wall, and a paw holding the back of her head. “Hey Carrots. Up we go, c’mon.”

Judy smiled and opened her eyes a crack. “Hey Nick. ‘ankyou.”

Nick beamed at her. “Anytime, fluff. You’ve got my paperwork to do on Monday, remember?”

She took a swing at him and nearly fell over. “Sh’tup.”

He held her shoulder and walked with her. “I was right on time, I see. You were ready to get in a fight!”

But instead of responding to the teasing, she slumped against him and snored.

 

* * *

 

Nick was fumbling with keys when he felt Judy jerk awake.

“Nick?”

He opened the door and looked down, carrying her bridal-style. “Hey Carrots. Hope you don’t mind, my place was a lot closer to take you. I’m gonna let you sleep it off on my couch.” She mumbled, still out of it.

Nick carried her to the sofa and carefully set her down, then locked the door and gave his suite a look around. It was very clearly a bachelor pad, with discarded Bugaburger bags littering the ground and dishes moldering in the sink. The furniture could charitably be called well-loved; the couch and bed both sagged and the card table by the kitchen was badly scratched up. “Kinda wish you’d gone back to your place, Carrots.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Whassat smell?”

Nick shrugged. “My neighbor is experimenting with essential oils, blending skunk and patchouli. I don’t even notice anymore.”

Judy giggled. “Yer gross.”

“And you’re drunk, and are going to wake up with a hell of a hangover tomorrow. Bedtime for bunnies, Carrots.” Nick gingerly set Judy down on his couch, and walked away towards his bedroom.

Judy caught his tail. “...Nick?”

He faltered and turned back. “Carrots?”

She gave him a pleading look. “Stay?” She poked the couch. “Couch is too lumpy, I need a pillow.”

He regarded her for a moment, then walked back and sat down. She happily scooted up and dropped her head in his lap.

“Of course, now I have to sleep on the lumpy couch.”

“Shhhhh pillows can’t talk.” Judy flicked her ears at his face sleepily.

Nick gave her a dim look, but she was already starting to snore. He sighed, and gently stroked her ear. “Out like a light, huh.” He smiled. “You could have asked for the bed, you know. I’m kind of wrapped around your finger, Carrots.”

“mmmmrrrnnn.”

He patted her side. “Really. For anyone else, I would have told them to shut up and tossed them a pillow from my bed.”

Judy shifted in her sleep.

“Why not tell you? Cause, honestly, this is like 90% of the way I’d want things anyway. What am I missing out on, right now? Smooches? Awkward fumbles? It’s a small price to pay, and I couldn’t risk making things awkward and not being your best friend anymore.”

He bent down and kissed her temple. Tomorrow, she’d wake up, puke everywhere, yell at him about his smelly, dirty apartment. Tomorrow, he’d go back to being her best friend, and be thrilled to be.

Tonight, he was happy to be needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting a new fic! I'd wanted to do a multichapter one for a while. Apologies for an unoriginal format, but it's a learning experience. I've got solid ideas for the other three chapters, I just need to get busy!
> 
> Constructive criticism or praise are always welcome!
> 
> Title is from "Sleeping With a Friend", by Neon Trees


	2. You Were Wonderful Tonight

The ceremony was beautiful. The entire ZPD was there, looking sharp in dress uniforms, to celebrate a union that had been far too long in coming. The happy couple read their vows together, pledging eternal love and support. When they exchanged rings, and kissed for the first time as one, even Bogo started to openly sob. And while it was the first time a pair like this had been married in this church, those who would judge or criticize were far away, not to even be considered on this blissful day.

Judy felt her phone vibrate against her hip.

 

**Nick:** this is taking forever

**Me:** nick we ate in church stamp

**Nick:** wow your typing sucks

**Me:** duck u im not looking ay my phone

**Me:** thus is a wonderful cemetery

**Nick:** reading this is unbearable im just gonna whisper to you

**Me:** nooooppppooooopp

 

“You know these things don’t last, right?” Nick whispered out the side of his mouth. He was great at hiding it, which made Judy even more annoyed. “More than half of all marriages fall apart.”

“No, I do **not** know that!” Judy hissed. Delgato peeked over the back of his elephant-sized pew to glare at her. “Francine and Sheila have been dating for years, they’ll be very happy together. And plenty of other marriages work. My parents are happy!”

Nick shrugged. “Don’t they themselves talk about how much they’ve settled?”

“This is not about them!”

McHorn tapped Judy on the shoulder. “Shhhh.”

Judy was incandescent with rage. Nick gave her a smile. “Judith, please try not to ruin Francine’s special day. Did I mention that weddings being emphasized as ‘the special day’ sets up unrealistic expectations and completely ignores the fact that marriages are tough, slogging work?”

Judy snarled and socked him.

“Hopps!” Bogo growled at her. “What are you doing? This is Francine’s special day, stop being disruptive!”

 

* * *

 

She turned to him as the elephant-sized limousine drove them to the reception. “You are a piece of work.”

Nick laid back against the huge leather seat, unbuttoning the shirt of his uniform and stretching. “I’m a realist. Mammals aren’t meant to be lifelong monogamists. Are you the same person you were twenty years ago? Do you want the same things?”

“Yes, I do!” Judy puffed out her chest and shined her badge with her sleeve.

“Alright, fair point, you are a freak,” Nick said affectionately, flicking her ear. “Most people, they change, Carrots. Making a commitment that’s supposed to last your whole life? When you’re what, in your thirties? That’s ridiculous. We’d have abandoned the whole thing years ago if magazines didn’t make women think they needed huge weddings.”

“Oh well thank God we have a smart man like you, Nick, to save us silly women from our romantic delusions.” Judy rolled her eyes. “Have you never been in love? Never been so close to someone that you think, even for a second, ‘this could last the rest of my life’?”

Nick avoided her eyes. “I **hope** I’ve never been that sentimental.”

Judy got right in his face. “Well I’ll bet one day, you meet someone who changes your mind. And on that day, I’ll expect a personal apology, you grouchy jerk.” She poked him in the belly.

He huffed. “Fine. I’ll look you right in the eyes and say, ‘Carrots, you were right. I’m sorry.’”

“Can’t wait.” She flopped and laid out, putting her feet on his lap.

“Carrots, you have this entire huge seat to put your feet.”

“Yeah, but I’m mad at you, so you’re my footrest til we get there.”

“...Whatever.” Nick turned to hide his smile.

 

* * *

 

The reception was huge, even considering that half the crowd were elephants. Francine welcomed her guests in with wide arms.

“I’m so glad to share tonight with all of you. Please, enjoy yourselves! And help yourself to the bar, Sheila’s family is covering it!” Francine’s new wife elbowed her and she snickered. “OK, maybe my folks should keep it to well drinks. We don’t want to have to cancel the honeymoon!”

Judy’s foot was tapping impatiently. She nearly sprinted to the small mammal bar when the door opened, and ordered a Long Island Iced Tea.

Nick sauntered over, raising his eyebrows. “You ok, Carrots?” He put in for a rum and coke, “with your finest rum, please, barkeep.” The marten behind the bar rolled his eyes and reached for the Batcardi.

“FINE,” she replied, glaring and knocking the glass back. “I’m not going to be in a bad mood, not today. I’m gonna get tipsy and dance my tail off, and you’d better join me!”

Nick grimaced. “Whoa now. I’m not really much of a dancer.”

“Doesn’t matter, nobody here is any good. You’ll fit right in!” She gulped down more.

“I’d really rather not.”

She threw a paw in the air. “You’re gonna poo-poo the wedding, and not even dance at the reception? Why did you even come, if you’re not gonna have a good time?”

“Hey, you don’t need to dance to have a good time! And... and I didn’t...” He bit his lip.

Judy rolled her eyes and hopped out onto the floor, leaving him looking at his feet. She finished her drink and slammed it down onto a tray, loosening her tie. If he was going to be a stick in the mud again, let him! This was a happy day, and she was going to be happy.

 

* * *

 

Nick found a table near the floor, and nursed a series of drinks. He tried to focus on his phone, or the happy couple, or his coworkers, or a patch of space just to the left of Judy, where he could see her in his peripheral vision. Not her though. He definitely wasn’t looking at her.

He passed time by rating the music choices, his sensibilities frequently offended.

“Oasis? Ruined by college douchebags with guitars.”

“'Kiss Me'? I think we just hit maximum barfy cliche levels.”

“Zoo2’s ‘One’? Have they actually heard the lyrics? This song isn’t romantic at all!”

“You’re right.” Sheila sat down in the seat next to him with a heavy thump. “In fact, it’s about the writer’s painful relationship with his father. And it’s my way of giving the middle finger to my father, who said I’d never be happy without a man.” She flashed him a pleasant smile.

Nick blinked. “Oh... that’s... a good reason then.” He sipped his rum and coke. “Um, congratulations, Sheila.”

She mussed his headfur with her huge hand. “It’s ok. I almost wish we were still speaking, so I could give the middle finger in person, but this is close enough.” She gestured with her trunk to the crowd. “Enough talking about him, why are you sitting around here? I just danced eight songs in a row, what’s your excuse?”

Nick watched Judy dancing, hopping around energetically as the song changed to something faster-paced. “My bones are a little too creaky, I think. It’s for the younger crowd.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m 40. What are you, 35?”

“33...fine. I just can’t dance well. No rhythm at all. You should have seen me at Gazelle’s concert.”

“And that’s stopping any of these other people? This is my wedding, pal,” she said, giving him a playful expression. “I get to boss people around. Plus, you’re not exactly being subtle about the way you’re staring.”

He started, standing up straight in his seat and swigging his glass. “I don’t know what you’re implying, ma’am.”

She shook her head ponderously. “I think denial is a tiny mammal thing. You know she’s looked your way too, right? Go dance with her, have a good time. Finish your drink first, hopefully you’ll be more tolerable.”

He downed it and hopped down off the chair, stalking towards the floor. “Fine.”

“And don’t get stepped on!” Sheila called, sipping her beer with a smile. “Good luck, you little prick,” she muttered. She hummed along with the song, flipping the bird in the air to nowhere in particular.

 

* * *

 

Judy bounced up and down as Nick reached her. They were in a cordoned-off corner of the dance floor reserved for smaller animals; Clawhauser was dancing with her as best he could on the large animals side. They both waved Nick over, Clawhauser lifting the rope for him to pass under.

“Nicky! Glad you made it here!”

“Look who it is, Mr. Too Cool for School!” Judy poked him in the side, giggling. “You know, I don’t think there was much iced tea at all in that drink! That bartender needs to learn to mix more evenly.”

Nick pursed his lips. “How many of those have you had, Carrots? I’m not used to being the most coordinated one on the floor.” He gave a little sashay, wiggling his tail.

“Psssssssssh!” Judy practically spat in his face giving a raspberry. “I’ll have you know I did both ballet and taek--taykw--martial arts as a kid. Dance-off, right now. I’ll kick your tail!”

Neither of them had much natural rhythm, and they both were drunk. But sometimes exuberance is key, and Judy was unrestrained and enjoying herself. She set the pace for the crowd, hopping and spinning, and Nick couldn’t keep up. He was getting dizzy even at half her pace.

“Alright Carrots, you win. I can’t do this, I’m getting nauseous.” He slowed and bent over, catching his breath.

Judy gave a celebratory hop. “Ha! Ballet, you’ve served me well again!” She tried to stand on tiptoe, but fell over. Nick grinned and gave her his hand to help her up.

The music slowed down, shifting to a romantic wedding standard. The guests paired up, starting a slow dance; Clawhauser grinned and vanished, looking for someone. Judy stood up and gave Nick a sly look. “No backing out of this one, Slick.”

He sighed. “I guess, if we’re already holding hands.” He stepped close to her, and put his hands on her shoulders; she put hers on his hips. They started rocking along with the song, circling slowly with Judy in the lead. Their eyes met as the music swelled.

_“I feel wonderful, because I see the light shining in your eyes...”_

Nick felt something snap inside. He took a deep breath, and smiled. “Carrots...you were right. I’m sorry.”

Judy smirked. “About dancing? Of course I was, you grouchy goof.”

He couldn’t decide if he was crushed or relieved. He shook his head. “You’re really out of it, huh?”

She giggled. “Mayyyyybe a little. Hey, I’m not driving! A bunny can have a good time, once in a while. Maybe a fox should learn to loosen up more.” She gave him a wink. “You’re cuter this way.”

“Cute-ER, huh? Are you admitting you find me attractive?”

She stepped on his foot. “Less when you talk.”

“I guess I’ll shut up then.”

They kept rocking side to side. Nick looked around the swaying dance floor and spotted Sheila and Francine, sitting together and sharing a kiss. He gave a disarmed smile, and let out a little sigh.

“What? What is it?” Judy craned her head to look; even among the small mammals she was short.

“Nothing. Just thinking, maybe keeping yourself on a ball and chain isn’t so bad.”

She stepped on his foot again, glaring at him. “Ball and chain? Is that really what you’re going with?”

“Ow! Look, you can’t bully me into thinking marriage is natural or inherently healthy--” he dodged a stomp--”just that I can maybe see the positive side...” He trailed off, seeing how angry she was getting.

“Seriously? Nick, we’re having a good time. I’m not messing around, shut up if you can’t be positive about this.”

“OK, Judy, you’re drunk--”

Judy’s eyes ignited with fury, and Nick realized he’d screwed up badly.

“Oh, I’m drunk, huh? So this isn’t really my anger?”

“I didn’t mean--”

“And before, in the limo, I was irrational, lovesick, bamboozled by the media. How come you’re the only rational one, Nick?”

“Judy, I--”

“You know what, save it! I’m sick of hearing about what you think. Tonight, I’m sick of you! And your endless cynicism and refusal to just LET ME BE HAPPY. I get it, you’re smarter than everyone else, smarter than me, you’ve got it all figured out. Well you can go be smart by yourself, because I’m done for tonight.” She shoved him back, and turned and stomped away.

Nick rocked back on his heels, stunned. Eventually, he slunk away from the dance floor. He slumped into his chair next to a wide-eyed Sheila, who passed him her beer, not saying a word. He chugged it down, listening to the music end.

_“I say my darling, you were wonderful tonight.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that took a while! And sorry for the downer ending. All I can say is, this isn't the end, and there's plenty more story to tell. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Title and lyrics from Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight"

**Author's Note:**

> Starting a new fic! I'd wanted to do a multichapter one for a while. Apologies for an unoriginal format, but it's a learning experience. I've got solid ideas for the other three chapters, I just need to get busy!
> 
> Constructive criticism or praise are always welcome!


End file.
